sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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