i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
