So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
