I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
