you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
