Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
