your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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