mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
