I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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