Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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