Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
