whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
