Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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