Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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