ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
