I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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