is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
