I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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