I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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