i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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