Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
