He disabled his match.com account in front of me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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