East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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