he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
