I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
