I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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