i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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