I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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