Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just gift wrapped bread.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
