Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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