it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
