do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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