I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
