I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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