using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
