And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
