he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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