3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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