fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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