I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
