I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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