God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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