You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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