my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
