you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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