hotel room ftw
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
