Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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