ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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