is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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