Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so let's talk penis.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
